So I did an essay contest for the magazine “Real Simple” at the end of last year. The topic for the essay was, “I never thought I would be…” and fill in the blank with 1500 words. The results came in AND… I didn’t win. But that’s okay, I was up against 7,300 other essays. And the winner is… a writer! Okay, a playwright, she writes plays, not essays. The runner up? A writer too! Well, an aspiring writer. But you know what? Good for them, and I mean it too. Got to show my kids that I’m a good sport and if I want to throw a tantrum, I’ll do it later in my closet! : )
BUT, I know YOU would choose my essay, as it is, shall we say, an extreme version of my start to homeschool and all my unique preconceived ideas of what homeschool ought to be. Enjoy! TM : )
A deep baritone voice sloooowly speaking like a 45 record on a 33 setting came out of the man standing in front of me (who happened to be my husband): “Of course we’re going to homeschool Honey!” We?! Did he just say we? I think he meant me! Oh, I’m sorry, you have me mistaken for an Amish woman baking bread with the wheat that I grew and turned into flour! Homeschool? No! You see, I buy my bread from the store and my children are going to school every morning. I am going to have a perfect life and drink bottled water and not get old. And besides, how do you do that anyway? Is it legal? I heard those homeschooler people eat only raw food that they grow in their organic gardens and wear Birkenstocks with those socks with all the toes individually covered that they knit for themselves with wool from the sheep that they raise in their living rooms. I can’t raise sheep, or do any of this stuff, so how could I ever homeschool? [Read more...]
