What About Socialization?
10 Myths of Socialization
Myth 1: Classroom Socialization is good
Classrooms are designed to be competitive. Students are engaged in an involuntary competition and are rated based on their performance.
Myth 2: Classroom Socialization is natural
Thereís nothing natural about a classroom. Thereís nothing natural about spending the majority of your waking hours with same age peers. Thereís nothing natural about having to ask permission to speak or go to the bathroom.
Myth 3: Classroom Socialization is normal
Who defines normal for your child? The social standards expected by parents and peers are not the same. Classroom socialization results in your child acquiring peer-directed social standards rather than parent-directed social standards.
Myth 4: Classroom Socialization prepares
children for the real world
Isolating a child in a classroom for 13 years does not prepare them for the real world. Homeschoolers receive their socialization from community-based daily life with real people in the real world.
Myth 5: Classroom Socialization will help my
child get along with others
What important social behaviors will your child learn in a classroom that they cannot learn at home and in selected community and social activities? Isnít it more logical to think that parents have more to offer in the area of teaching social skills to their children than the childís peers have?
Myth 6: Classroom Socialization doesn't
really affect my child because I'm still in charge
You canít control the influence of your childrenís peers on your child. You canít protect them from the bullying, name calling, and teasing from their peers. You canít even protect your child from the teacher who may treat your child as if they are dumb.
Myth 7: Classroom Socialization will help
develop my child's self-image
Very true. Not really a myth. Only one problem: The self-image your child ends up with may not be what you hoped for. Do you really want your childís self-image determined by a classroom ďpecking orderĒ?
Myth 8: Classroom Socialization is the same
today as when I went to school
Did you go through metal detectors? Was your school fenced in like a prison? Did you have armed guards? Could you go to your school nurse when you were in the 6th grade and get birth control?
Myth 9: Classroom Socialization is carefully
Children grow and develop socially at different rates. They have different needs. No classroom program can adequately address all the various educational needs of all the children let alone all their different social needs.
Myth 10: Classroom Socialization is
controlled by professionals so I can hand my child over to them
Teachers are not the problem in classroom socialization. The problem with classroom socialization is that teachers cannot possibly be expected to know and address the unique social needs of each student. Direct instruction with each student is minimal. One-on-one instruction on a daily basis is not possible given the restrictions of the classroom setting. Socialization is largely left to peers on the playground.
If you've read all the myths about socialization but still think your child needs to go to school to have friends, I encourage you to read a book by an expert from UCLA on how children learn friendship skills. The book is Good Friends are Hard to Find by Fred Frankel. Dr. Frankel, a psychologist, is a leading expert on children's social skills and is Director of the world renowned UCLA Parent Training & Social Skills Programs. His research and work focuses on how to help children make and keep friends. The main point of his book is that children need one-on-one play dates to make friends. School can be a place to meet potential play dates, but it is not the only place. If you decide to home school, your child can meet other children to set up play dates with at the various home school activities that are always available. You can also set up play dates with neighborhood children or with children with whom your child already shares a common interest such as other children from group classes, lessons, church, or sports. Home schooling does not mean your child is isolated. Far from it, they are actually spending more time in the real world than their peers who are in a classroom all day.
Articles Regarding Socialization and Homeschooling
"If there were no other reason for wanting to keep kids out of school, the social life would be reason enough." - John Holt
Disclaimer: Although there are many parents with comparable experiences, the information presented on this website reflects the experiences and opinions of one parent. It is provided for educational purposes only and should not be construed as medical or legal advice. Every parent should do his or her own research and act according to his or her own circumstances. Mary is not offering professional advice nor is she liable for damages.